The Influences Your Parents Have Made
One may honor some of the traits from our parents, while rejecting others and becoming our own person.
Whatever your journey in life looks like, the influence of your parents is a force you’ve likely felt from the very beginning. From your physical traits to aspects of your personality, both nature– the genetic traits you inherit, and nurture-the ways you are raised, play significant roles in human development. Studies in psychology show that genetics can shape the groundwork for who we are, but our environment and experiences also leave deep imprints on behavior, preferences, and emotional responses . Ilana Estelle dives deep into Nature vs Nurture
It’s common to notice family resemblances physically, but many of us also carry sensitivities, predispositions, and tendencies that seem to echo our parents’ own. As we grow older and become more self-aware, we start to recognize these patterns, sometimes with appreciation, and sometimes with discomfort. Our response to this awareness often depends on whether we feel these inherited traits serve us well. Some traits we embrace; others we deliberately reject. The process of self-examination helps us distinguish what feels like inheritance from what feels like identity.
Your Parents are Human Too!
Importantly, there’s no cosmic law that dictates we must repeat our parents’ footsteps. Each person has the freedom to forge their own path. When we start seeing our mothers and fathers as full, complex human beings, with both strengths and flaws, we begin to grant them individuality in our minds. In doing so, we also affirm our own autonomy rather than merely mirroring those who raised us. Click here to learn more about how parents shape our beliefs.
This isn’t to say that every habit or mannerism we picked up was a conscious choice. Many of these were integrated involuntarily over years of observation and repetition. But through reflective awareness, consciously noticing how we act, think, and respond, we gain the power to choose which inherited patterns to keep and which to leave behind. We can honor and emulate the qualities we admire in our parents without becoming carbon copies.
Even when temperament and emotional tendencies feel ingrained, you have agency over how those traits show up in your life. Just because a pattern was present in your family doesn’t mean it’s part of your destiny. We can learn from our parents’ decisions – even the ones we wouldn’t choose for ourselves – and build new ways of living that better align with who we want to be.
In the end, your parents’ influence continues to shape your life in subtle and profound ways. But whether you choose to follow in their footsteps — or carve out your own unique trail — is entirely up to you.
